Autism in Other Cultures
I am an American living in the Middle East with an Arab family. The families are huge and they socialize several times a week and on weekends. There’s always groups of cousins running around playing and adults sipping coffee and tea. It can be exhausting and it’s hard because I am not capable of that level of socializing. Even worse (for me) nothing is planned ahead of time. I have explained to them what I am about, but to translate autism into Arabic literally means something like “he who runs away when you say hi”. It is very well understood and they are very understanding about it. I have the option of locking myself in my room with my craft supplies.
Having said that there are already cultural rules in place that help a great deal. Men and women are segregated and I have thrived under this practice. Eye contact isn’t really a thing here so I can walk looking down at the ground to my hearts content and nobody thinks I’m weird.
Arranged marriages work out pretty well here, and if you think about it it’s kind of a pro instead of a con. There’s no awkward dating, and the people that love you pick your mate based on compatibility. I’d do it.
Another important aspect of social structure here is that anyone with a disability is completely taken care of by members of these huge families. Anything different would be considered disrespectful and unacceptable. I haven’t run into ASD in any individuals that I’ve met, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were just accepted into the fold, as is, and no one notices. There are autism organizations you can get involved with here, so there is awareness.
Arabic people are very kind and welcoming. If that were not the case, I would probably not survive. I have made so many social blunders that I carry a lot of guilt, and that gets in the way more than the anxiety of just being with people. Looking back, I seem to have made most of my decisions based on the ending anxiety level. “If I don’t do this, will it cause me more anxiety than the anxiety I would feel while I am doing it?”
I am being tested for autism next month, and it was a hard decision to make. Because of my age and circumstance, I truly weighed the benefits that a diagnosis might bring against the problems that it would cause. For example, I can stop feeling weird about myself because I am just different and it’s not my fault, but now I know that I will always have this anxiety to battle no matter how hard I work.
I will continue to post about my thoughts and experiences as I travel this road of self-discovery. I will also include insights into multigenerational autism (some diagnosed, some not) and how we have adapted or failed to adapt. There is certainly something tricky about our coping skills when we didn’t know we were coping…